I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
