I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
