Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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