By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
