She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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