I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
