i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
