I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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