I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
