Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
