He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
