Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
