i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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