you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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