So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
