i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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