Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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