why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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