I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
