i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
