I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
