before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
