chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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