Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
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