A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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