There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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