im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
