if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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