See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
