just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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