You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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