we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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