Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
