I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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