also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
