I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
