You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
