Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
