We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
