What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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