i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
