he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
