Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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