If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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