Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
