It's a beautiful day for a hangover
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
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Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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