If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
