the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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