she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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