Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize