i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize