so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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