no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
