Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
